40 Strong

I'm tired of feeling so small
like the world is too big for me to function.
I'm tired of feeling so scared
like everything in life is always unaccepting.
I'm tired of feeling so judged
like I'm in a court room every second of my life.
I'm tired...
I'm just tired.

I want to feel the warmth of my mothers arms
around me but I cant.
I'm denied, your different
and this love is only for things that are the same.
I'm ashamed
and this world just got bigger
and my fears they've grown
and that jury?
20 strong

I'm guilty.
I'm guilty of hating myself.
Of longing to be a star on a magazine
or the little boy down the street
that does nothing but smile.
And once again I'm ashamed
and the world its wider,
my fears are grander
and that jury?
40 strong.

I'm guilty.
I'm guilty of wishing I was normal,
that your life and my life were the same.
I'm ashamed.
I'm tired.
I'm alone.
I'm guilty.
I'm scared.
I'm gay...
and all I've ever wanted is to be loved.